4-month update

The days, weeks and months seem to be picking up speed! With our half-way mark approaching we already feel the urgency to look harder at the sea, feel more sand in our toes, wake up to see the sunrises, eat more fresh fish, try out more French words, walk the small villages around Menton, learn about the 10s of 1000s of birds that fly by our villa every day, learn to sail in the mini sail boats, slow down a little bit more, learn all the constellations that are so brilliant and clear at night, explore on the scooter more, go on the beautiful hikes we've heard about, sit in the warm sun more often...somehow breathe in more of the paradise we live in! We love living here.

I'm happy to report that Geoff is improving! His good days now outnumber his bad days. And while his bad days exist, they don't stick around too long. The other day Geoff initiated some wrestle time with Adele (who is always seeking a good wrestle) and Adele stopped in the middle and realized aloud, "Hey, dad is getting better! He's wrestling me!" There are more and more glimpses into his old self and we all celebrate his progress. He still has a ways to go. He tires easily and can't physically do what he would like, but that will come. More importantly, he would point out, is that he is being refined. He continually expresses gratitude for this challenge and the ways that he has grown and changed because of it.

The past months have been a good challenge for me as well. Imagine... I don’t speak the language and the culture is new; am living in a home that isn’t mine; am homeschooling my kids for the first time with no support (friends, family, Relief Society, babysitters, cleaning ladies, etc), no libraries, no office or craft stores and no printer; children who still have negative reactions to wheat, eggs, dairy, chocolate, sugar and other environmental causes; have a husband who is counseled by his doctor to have “no responsibility” (whose heart and mind are always willing to help but whose body tells him to lay down), and don’t know what will happen or where we’ll go after June 18th when we board a plane to leave France. Earlier this year Elder Holland, one of the twelve Apostles, spoke to our congregation. He spoke of life’s tests and that sometimes our wise Heavenly Father will push us “until our back is pushed against the wall” and we lay our broken heart on the altar. These past months have done just that. It is in these circumstances that I have come to understand more deeply that the Savior’s suffering wasn’t just for the sinner, but for those on the journey to becoming a Saint. Elder Bednar, then President of BYU Idaho, spoke at BYU on this topic. He referred to the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:19, “…becometh a Saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord…becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him…”. Elder Bednar explains that as we submit we don’t pray for our difficult circumstances to change or go away (they are given to us to help us grow), instead we rely on the grace (a divine means of help of strength) to meet the challenges we face. We pray for the ability to act in our circumstances. As a result, our capacity grows, our love expands, and patience is greater than it would be if left to ourselves. I'm still in this process. Some days are easier than others, but I appreciate every day here with the necessary reliance on divine help and its possibilities of increased personal capacity.

Z School is going well. We started off with a lot of structure and have since become very flexible. We continue to discover the girls' personalities, preferences, learning styles, moods, physical and emotional and social needs, mental strengths and weaknesses, and the valiant souls that they are. They each have their subjects where we feel like we have to put on a circus to get them through it! It takes a tremendous amount of energy. I have a huge increased appreciation for teachers, and a jaw dropping admiration for parents who have committed themselves to the long-term home-schooling of their children!!! We took three weeks off in December but are ready to revv up this week with a new commitment to making learning as fun as possible.

Generally the girls are doing well. The novelty of moving and of being in France has worn off and they have had their share of homesickness. Strangely, their old home isn't ours anymore and we likely won't return to Washington. So they've left a familiar place, know they aren't staying here long-term, and yet have no idea where they'll be after we leave (although Hawaii is their unanimous vote). So when they feel sad and say, "I want to go home!" we gently remind them that this is home for now. Each of them misses different things. I'll give a little overall update on each of them:

Tennie has been feeling really homesick the past few weeks. She misses her toys and our familiar things, she misses her friends, she misses our dog Kipper, and she misses her beloved 2nd grade teacher Miss McCathern. At the same time she loves France, the sun, the time she has to play, and the new experiences that happen every time we walk out the door. After our trip to Switzerland/Germany she stopped going to her basketball classes. She felt behind physically and in skill, and felt that the other girls either didn't want to be her friend, or she couldn't communicate with any that reached out. Had she been there consistently I think she would have had more success, but with our travels and lack of commitment to participate in Saturday games she was somewhat of a misfit in the group. We just ordered 20 new books for her as she has developed a love of reading, and she spends hours and hours each week drawing paper dolls. Sometimes she'll draw a clothing catalog for girls and name the outfits. She's clearly growing up and Geoff and I are trying our hardest to change our perception of her from being a little girl to being a girl who wants responsibility and freedom. She tries valiantly to make good choices, to be kind and to share, to refrain from her natural bossiness, to concentrate in school when she doesn't want to, and to be a good sister/daughter. We admire her foundational goodness.

Adele loves social situations and really misses the ability to speak in English and interact with others. She is extraordinarily excited when I ask her to take a plate of muffins to our upstairs neighbors just because she gets to talk to someone outside of our family! When the missionaries are coming for dinner she counts the minutes. Yesterday we went to the Munez's home for lunch and spent the afternoon there. They live in the Nice "countryside" (meaning they, and their neighbors, have a little bit of land). Adele was so excited about this that by the time we got there she was so worn out from anticipation, and all the perceived new things to play with and kids to play them with, that she sort of melted down and couldn't fully enjoy the day. She still struggles with textures against her skin and wears the same dress every day. I've been reading about the brain and the incredible intricacies of how it processes sensory information. We're working on ways to help her with the discomfort she has had with clothing for years! Another funny thing about Adele is that she has a mental bladder. At night she must go to the bathroom immediately before getting in bed, and if someone drinks water, or even mentions water, she has to go again (but we have to turn on the faucet to faciliate a second go on the toilet!) In anticipation of getting her ears pierced when she turns 10 (our family's age for piercing) she pinches her earlobes HARD every day so she'll be ready for any pain she might experience. Yesterday Tennie told Adele her eyebrows were growing together (?). Adele went straight to the bathroom, closed the door, and pushed the inner ends of her eyebrows with her fingernails HARD in an effort to stop any further growth. We assured her that her eyebrows were not growing together, but her six-year-old vanity wasn't convinced. Adele got a fish a few months ago for finishing a certain amount of French lessons. She is remarkably responsible in feeding the fish and cleaning its cage with no reminders and little help. She is hoping to prove her ability to care for a bunny, and ultimately a...horse. She's very conscientious about saying her morning and evening prayers, brushing her teeth and washing her face, putting her shoes where they belong and taking care of her clothes. She also erases letters that aren't "just right" and is hard on herself when she misses a math problem and doesn't get a perfect score. She is so full of love for people. She stares at the old, French people and calls them "cuties". She adores little babies. If she hurts our feelings she will do anything to say sorry and make sure there are no hard feelings. She has an exemplary amount of compassion which blesses us all.

Ceci is such a good sport. Her preschooling is often secondary to the girl's schooling. She keeps herself busy with drawing and painting, or pretending to read. She's learning her numbers and letters, though, and joins in on science and history when it is interesting for her. She loves puzzles. She really misses our big basket of dress-ups at home, and her cousin Bailey. She sticks her tongue out when upset with the girls, and lets her frustration be known with volume. She sits and stares at her food for way to long (she'll gladly eat it if we feed her). She's usually overtired. For the third time she stopped stucking her thumb and for the third time she started back up. It provides comfort when she's left out by her two older sisters, and they treat her like second class. For now we've decided to let her suck away and twirl her hair. She is cuddly and fun. She loves to make us laugh. She'll give up anything if she feels like it will make someone happy. She is so generously giving and sensitive. She loves to sing out loud but is usually hushed by her sisters. Geoff and I know she is our baby, and we cherish every little kid action she does...it seems they going, going, and soon...gone!

There you have it. It certainly would have been shorter if our 4-month update was simply, We're doing fantastic!