Motherhood

When Tennie was about six months old we had just returned from living in Southern Mexico for three months and were into Geoff’s second year of graduate school in Cambridge, Massachusetts. His sister Nikki was at Yale, and on the field hockey team. Yale was playing Boston College in Boston so we went to cheer on the Bulldogs. Geoff’s mom and his sister Ingrid were also in town and going to the game. It was a perfect fall afternoon outing. Despite our grown-up anticipation Tennie fell asleep in the car on the way to the game. She would be happier with a nap so I volunteered to stay in the car until she woke up. An hour later I found a distant spot on the bleachers to nurse her, as the cheering crowd would distract her from eating. As I sat there away from the fun I was feeling particularly sorry for myself. I was wrestling with the necessary sacrifice of self that every mother must face with the birth of her first (and in my case, each) baby. I could hear the crowd cheering. I could hear Geoff and his family yelling, “Go Nikki! Nice hustle! Way to go! Go #4!” I thought to myself, “Enjoy your glory days Nikki, because one day no one will be looking in your windows yelling, ‘nice hustle’ even though you’ll be giving more of yourself than ever before.” Tears were streaming down my face. And then clear and distinct words came into my mind, “He who seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. This kind of glory is temporary, but yours will be eternal.” I knew then that I had a Father in Heaven who was looking in my windows. He knew the stretching I was feeling, and personal sacrifice I was giving. He cared about this little baby and sent her into my care despite my weaknesses and feelings of inadequacy. He was communicating his gratitude that I was willing to be a mother. Motherhood changed for me after that.

A friend’s mom, Linda Eyre, writes wonderful parenting and mothering books. A title of one of her books always makes me smile after a long day. It’s called I Didn’t Plan to be a Witch and Other Motherhood Surprises. There have been many challenges and surprises in my children that weren’t a part of those perfect images I imagined of motherhood as a young woman, and there have been unpleasant qualities in myself that have surfaced in mothering that I wish would have stayed in their dark closets. I also didn’t anticipate post-partum depression, food intolerance to almost all the foods we ate regularly, a husband whose job took him around the world leaving me primarily on my own from the first weeks of my babies births, and more recently a husband’s health failure that left us living on savings, moving to another country to recover in peace, and living a life with all of our trust in a loving God. Yes, motherhood is full of surprises.

When we lived in Mexico we spent a week at a resort where guests shared meal tables with other guests. We met an American couple who raised four boys. The mother of these boys expressed her dissatisfaction with motherhood. She complained that it was a total waste of time; you give all of yourself to your children and they give nothing in return. I sat there with my small baby marveling at her attitude, and after some time pondering about her words I concluded that we are left with one thing, even if our children “move on” in their own lives. That one thing is charity. I don’t mean good deeds or acts of service. I’m talking about when a mother gives her mind (thoughts), might (desires and energy) and strength (physical capacity) to the nurturing of her children, she develops, over time, a genuine motivation to wholly give of herself to the welfare of others. In the Book of Mormon the prophet Ether records, “…thou hast loved the world (speaking to the Savior), even unto the laying down of thy life for the world…this love…is charity”. You could easily apply this by saying “…thou hast loved your children, even unto the laying down of thy life for them…this love…is charity”. And as I mentioned before, Heaven knows we are laying down our lives as mothers. In the process of mothering, however, the beautiful motivation to action called charity, the pure love of Christ, seems elusive at times. I once heard a Mother’s Day talk at church where charity as described in Moroni and Corinthians was replaced by Mother:

Mother suffereth long,
Mother is kind,
Mother envieth not,
Mother is not puffed up,
Mother seeketh not her own,
Mother is not easily provoked,
Mother thinketh no evil,
Mother rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth,
Mother beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Here is this beautiful picture of a perfect mother as a standard we hope to become and yet in the process we’re face to face with our personal short-comings. But, I can’t help but believe that the very act of waking up and being willing to take on another day of potential unpleasentries is what qualifies us to feel the small moments of perfect JOY in our mothering…joy that is reserved for those who are, day by day, developing charity; or a willingness to lay aside “self”.

Why am I writing all of this? A few weeks ago when working at my dad’s conference one of my dad’s employees, knowing I was a Mother, tried to pay me a compliment by saying, “Why are you wasting your skills as a mother?!” I assured him that being a Mother was the best use of my skills (thank you very much!) I am dispensable in any other role! So I’m writing this because I want my girls to grow up knowing that I feel that being their mom is the greatest privilege I’ll ever have (besides being Geoff’s wife, of course!) I want them to know that as I strive to make them better people I am becoming MUCH better than I could have been without them. And, I want them to know that choosing to be a Mother during my “productive years” is the best choice I’ve made, hands down. I hope they’ll make the same choice one day…doesn’t every mom want her children to grow up and feel JOY?

Sundance

We LOVE Sundance, and we make an effort to go whenever we visit Utah. Geoff's sister Emily and her daughter Bailey, his sister Nikki and her friend Kelly, and our brother-in-law Davey came along which made it all the more fun.

Look at those majestic mountains!

Great shot of Davey in action!

The girls put on a play for us on the outdoor theater stage. It was an interesting plot about orphan cowgirls whose dad was lost at sea so they moved to the jungle. At the end they brought Davey and Kelly on the stage and there was a little Les Mis, Phantom and Evita twist to the plot. I've included a few play shots for your pleasure...

A visit to BYU

Geoff has a theory that if we expose the girls to great campuses early they'll end up there. I think it is working because after visiting Stanford a few years ago, and hearing about Harvard and Yale so much, she is planning on going to BYU, Stanford, Harvard AND Yale. GO TENNIE! That puts a little pressure on me as her teacher! The girls loved the campus, and it was great to see the growth and change, as well as enjoy the incredible mountains the grace the BYU campus.

The BYU bookstore was their favorite part. We got a creamery ice cream and bought some t-shirts (part of Geoff's theory).

Look at those mountains!

Utah continued...

While in Utah we stayed with my old college and Washington D.C. roommate Cherstyn (Monson) Stockwell and her family. Cher and I can easily fill up several hours with catching up. She is a wealth of knowledge on just about everything, and seeing her family in action inspired Geoff and I to be better parents. She and her husband Matt are so great, and made us feel so welcome. Staying with them was a big treat.
On Sunday we attended the Oquirrh Mountain Temple dedication which was a very powerful and spiritual experience. Tennie got to go since she has been baptized. She was a little restless sitting still and quiet for so long, but she left so happy she went. She also decided to have her aunt Heather chop her hair...looks adorable, of course.


Sunday afternoon we went to my brother Mitch and his wife JoAnn's home for a visit. JoAnn always provides a good dose of femininity with nail polishing and high heels. Mitch took Tennie and Ceci on a little explore in some nearby woods and the girls came back convinced of all sorts of American Indian evidences.

JoAnn is a good sport to open up her closet...

Brittany & Jacob's wedding

We're back in Salt Lake. Yesterday was Geoff's youngest sister's wedding. It all turned out wonderfully.

The girls gathered around the bride and groom during a fun video at their wedding luncheon

Cousins looking out at the busy downtown streets

They were married in the Salt Lake Temple

Geoff and I were married here almost 11 years ago

Geoff ran into his friend Elder Neil Andersen in the temple which was a big treat

The cousins carried Brittany's train as she came out of the temple. Ceci blew kisses to the crowd...

Tennie imaging what it feels like to be the bride

The girls ready to celebrate at the wedding party

Nikki and I warming up for wedding party photos

A more recent tradition is the boys in the family performing a personalized song. You can tell which brother is a little more "cool" while Geoff and his brother Ian to the left are the goofballs...look at Geoff's face...

Ceci and Erica on the dance floor

Tennie was in heaven with the loud music, dancing and celebrating atmosphere

Brittany was a stunning bride, and we love her new husband Jacob!

A visit from the Serafins!

Our great friends from Washington came to Auburn for a 3-day visit and it was GREAT to see them! The girls anticipated their arrival with as much anxiety and countdown as Christmas morning. This was our "family" in the Northeast, and it was as familiar to see them as if we had seen them last week...except for a new member to the family!

Aside from the repercussions of the girl's sleepover pact that whoever woke up first would wake everyone else up (and it is always fun to be the first...), Ashley and I had a lot of talking time, and the kids played really well together.

Looking for larger fish in the pond...

and trying to catch smaller fish in the stream

Sela stalking...

Tennie catching...

Rollin watching; Kipper trying to stay awake but falling asleep...

Waist deep in muck and water (Tennie was in heaven...)

A sled turned aquarium

Ceci caught a water spider (I love how many pictures I have of Ceci with creatures between her fingers)

A campfire and sleep out

Tennie and Sela in one tent... (Kipper made himself comfortable)

Geoff, Adele, Ceci and Nina in another (Ashely and I getting a peaceful night's sleep indoors)

Lots of swimming...

Ashley and her sumo-style-chub son, Evan

An occasional movie saved ALL of us

Over sized summer squash babies left on the counter

See you next summer, Serafins!

HIdden Falls

The last of the family crowds went home. While it is a blast to be surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents, it is also very nice to spend time as our own little family again.

We went on a little hike to Hidden Falls a few days ago. It was dry and hot (just how Geoff likes it) and just the right distance.

The rolling hills are beautiful around here

We made it to the falls. Geoff took Tennie across these rocks to pick blackberries on the other side.

We found a complete dragonfly dead on the path. Ceci willingly carried it the whole hike, occasionally telling us to pet its big eyes because "they're soft".

Blackberry Days 2009

We're currently at Geoff's parents in Auburn, California. We arrived for 'Blackberry Days' (named for the plentiful blackberries around here) and had a great gathering with ALL of Geoff's seven siblings. It gets a little crowded and loud, and the kids get over-tired and cranky, but this is a happy, active, fun group and we always have a great time together.

Mormor and Poppop's cousin sleepover

Adele in a kid-created parade "to celebrate Jesus" (I love Adele's face)

A campfire with s'mores

Uncle Christian (lovingly known as Booch) took the kids on a John Deer ride that made the kids squeal with delight (and the parents shake with terror!)

Day and night boat rides in the pond

We had our first annual mini-triathlon. The kids went first, and then the adults. I had just returned from some errands so took a few photos. I missed out. Next year...

The kids doing their swim...

Tennie's quick transition

Adele during the run across the property

Ceci during the bounce (we didn't have enough bikes so we substituted with a trampoline segment)

Adults at the starting line waiting for the 'GO'

Everyone charged for the pond and leaped in...it was a great sight

Bikes were in shortage for adults, too, so there were all sorts of wheeled items that people had to pick up and ride: dollies, wheelbarrows, scooters, a skateboard, John Deer, strollers, a wagon, etc. Here is Geoff's sister Emily kicking bootie on the Radio Flyer trike.

My camera battery died for the run through the fields. It was a surprisingly non-competitive race in a family of very competitive individuals!

Always something good coming in from the garden

A cousin photo shoot

Ceci's favorite friend and cousin Bailey

I zoomed and cropped this picture of Ceci. Doesn't she look regal?

Self-applied sunscreen and a self-photograph

Tennie keeping herself busy while Geoff's sister Erica, her husband Davey, Geoff and I played a little tennis

Another shot by Tennie, and more self-applied sunscreen

Our dog Kipper

This one is for my Dad...love that summer corn!

The kid's table

Picking a peach for a snack

Lots of swimming in the above-ground pool

I love Geoff's face...

Lots of dress-ups and use of Mormor's make-up drawer

The chicken coop turned "club house"

Tennie getting the hose to clean-up a lot of berry mixing in the clubhouse (notice the berry paint on her forehead)

Club house clean-up

No adults allowed

Good summer times.