Strike 2

Remember last year when I went on strike as a teacher? Well, this week I went on strike #2. I was fed up with the girls acting as if my suggestion of learning something was like asking if they would like to be tortured.

A simple science experiment

Seconds later...

The drama, the resistance, the unpleasant whining, the lack of focus...it wears me down until I say some unpleasant things and declare I'm on strike. I told the girls I would draw up a list of outdoor chores for them to do since they wouldn't be in school. Tennie argued it wasn't fair since it wasn't their choice that they weren't doing school. True. I was defeated all around.

A few weeks ago Geoff got off the phone with a customer service person and said, "Either she shouldn't be working today or she needs more training." I laughed because someone could visit our school day some days and say the same thing about me! It was definately a week when I shouldn't be working, and heaven knows I need more training. I feel like I'm on a slippery-steep learning curve every day. I'm reading during every spare moment, and redefining what I think it means to educate a child. I'm exploring how to revamp the way we do things in Z School so that learning is equated with fun, not a "let's finish school so we can have fun" mentality. I have big plans, but the carrying it out day to day with three little, unique, brilliant beings is a different story. I'm far from having things figured out.

Geoff, my knight in shining armor, appeared to slay this week's dragon. He took over school, meals, and every other demand while I sought a sense of control by going through piles paper/mail, crossed things off my Christmas to-do list (which is actually pretty short, gratefully), cleaned out the school supplies and storage area, and worked on little projects I don't have time to get to. It felt so good. But the "good" is temporary, not a solution. The sustaining solution for me is now, and always, maintaining a clear perspective. But why is it so dang hard to keep perspective?

Our culture is full of nice, irrevelant standards. Our schools, church culture, political parties, medical systems, food industry, even families...all set a standard of what is "normal" or "good". Because we live in a culture that places a high emphasis in what the "experts" say we follow along believing that they are right. I'm realizing the power of being my own agent for myself and my children. I know our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual strengths and weaknesses. So who is really the "expert"? Well, certainly not me alone, but teamed up with a wise, all-knowing God I become pretty strong. I become more knowledgeable. I have more confidence in my actions and choices. So I continue to ask myself hard questions in prayer: How do I define being a good mother? How do I define educating a child? What is the best route of learning for Tennie? Adele? Ceci? What can I weed out of my life to fit in enough time and energy for the things that are most important today? This week? This year? Is having this thing or that thing really going to determine success or comfort in our lives? What are the naysayers saying about what I choose to do, or think, or believe? Is what they think about my choices or my life important?

But those cultural standards pull at me, and create doubt, doubt about the convictions I felt in quieter moments. Those standards distract my thoughts (and actions) into pursuing things that really don't support what is really effective or important. Maintaining frequent, quiet moments of prayer and meditation seem critical to keeping from being "tossed to and fro".

Well, my piles and corners are cleared out, my to-do list is shorter, and more importantly I slowed down a little bit to gain perspective on what is most important tomorrow...I'll start there.